The Secret Changes within Bella Swan
by SwedenSara
Main Characters: Bella/Edward
Genre: AH, Angst, Romance, Lemons
Rating: M/NC-17
1. How did you come up with the idea of your story?
This story is something I had been wanting – or maybe needing is a better way of putting it - to write for quite some time. For me, writing this story is therapeutic. I had some issues in my life and marriage that I needed to deal with and make sense of. Needless to say, a lot of it is autobiographical. I tried writing this in Swedish many times, but it never felt right. After countless hours of reading fanfic, I started to think in English, and the words suddenly felt natural. One night I heard Bella’s voice in my head, so I sat down and wrote the prologue.
I was a bit worried at first about writing in English, since it obviously isn’t my first language, but now it feels almost as natural as writing in Swedish. In some ways I feel it’s easier for me to express myself in English, and I often feel that the Swedish language lacks the proper words for the things I want to show the readers. The help provided by the betas at Project Team Beta has been invaluable and it has helped me improve immensely.
2. What are some of your favorite things reviewers have said about your story?
The reviews that mean the most to me are the ones where people tell me how my story applies to their lives as well. It makes me feel like I’m not alone in this. To know I help people with the things I write is awesome. I also get all giddy when readers tell me how my words make them feel. I still can’t believe that my words evoke feelings in other people.
3. Is there a particular character in your story that you identify with the most?
Of course, Bella is basically me. And yes, Edward is based on my husband (poor guy). Writing Edward actually forced me to see things from his point of view, which was helpful and sometimes very hard.
4. Is the story all planned out or is it “write as you go”?
In the beginning I just wrote. I had nothing planned out at all, except for some sort of general idea of where I wanted it to end. I kind of followed the timeline of my life. When I realized I only had a few chapters left, I felt the need to outline them. The weird thing is that outlining also made it harder to actually get it written. Since the foundation of my writing up until now has been to go with what I feel I need to express, having the outline kind of kills my mojo.
5. Do you have a particular process when it comes to your writing? Mood? Specific Environment? What do you do to get in the writing mood?
I write sitting on my couch, mostly while my husband is watching TV. During summer vacation I wrote a lot at night, when I had trouble sleeping. In the beginning, the story was constantly on my mind. I kept a notebook with me, and wrote everything down as it came to me. Phrases and dialogues popped up in the weirdest situations, and if I didn’t write them down I forgot. The first chapters I wrote to music – the Twilight soundtrack.
6. Have you got any other projects going on? Any planned for the future?
My other WIP – Smutiversity – is a collab with my beta Netracullen. We post under the penname Smutsisters. It’s a crackfic about us trying to write better smut, and the idea came when I whined to my betas about not being able to write lemons. I needed to practice, and writing Smutiversity gave me that opportunity. Funny thing is that after our first chapter was done, PTB started Smut University. That was amazingly helpful as well. I also took part in PTB Smut University’s Yearbook “Summer of Smut”.
I recently started a blog with some fic friends, entirely dedicated to slash – Twisted in Slash http://twistedinslash.blogspot.com/. We post pretty boylovin’ pictures and review and recommend fics.
My plans for the future are to write either a prequel to TSCwBS, or possibly some outtakes. There are things in Bella’s past that I need to address, but they don’t fit in the storyline. I also have an epilogue planned for Vanishing, the one-shot I won a Judge’s Pick for in the Beyond the Pale contest.
7. Are you out of the closet with your Twilight love? Or do you RL friends and family know about it?
I’m out of the closet entirely. My mother and sister love Twilight as well, and my husband has read all the books and Midnight Sun. I’m the only one who’s into fanfiction, though. Only a few people know I write, and even fewer actually read my stories. I try to keep my writing a secret, since I’m a teacher and I’m afraid some of the things I write wouldn’t sit well with my colleagues and bosses… My parents aren’t allowed to read it, my sister reads some, and my husband reads everything. He felt a bit weird reading the slash one-shot I wrote for Bellabee66, but he did it anyway.
8. Do any FF authors inspire you?
I’m inspired by a lot of authors, and I love reading. I love when I find new phrases or expressions that I haven’t thought of myself. If I’m to name names… my biggest inspiration comes from AngstGoddess003. Wide Awake was my first real fanfic crush, and I love her Company Loves Misery. I also adored Poughkeepsie, and have saved the review reply I got from Mrs.TheKing once. I’m such a fangirl…
9. What is your FanFic Pet peeve?
I don’t like when people hold their updates hostage until they get reviews. If you are to beg for reviews, at least do it in a funny way.
10. Do you have other writing experience besides fan fiction?
No, I only write instructions or fact sheets for students.
11. Shout out to your betas.
First of all I’d like to thank everyone from PTB who has worked with me. I’ve learned so much. LuluM is my comma queen, I’ve asked a million questions and she always answers them. I still can’t get it right though, we use commas differently in Swedish…
Jill has been so supportive and nice to me. We’ve spent hours and hours chatting on Facebook, and I feel like I really know her. I miss her now that she’s had to take a step back from duties, but I’m happy we keep in touch anyway.
Netracullen is awesome; I know she’s always ready to put on her finicky bitch beta hat for me. I can always count on her, I know she tells me like it is. She makes me better. I admire her so much, she’s incredibly talented.
Lately I’ve had a lot of help from other people as well. FangMom is my stand-in beta when Jill not’s able to help out, and I’m forever thankful for that. Lattecoug, Edbrella and McGee_42 have volunteered to beta some one-shots on short notice. Erinbatt offered to beta my contest entry for In the Closet contest, and it gave me so much. I’m amazed that this fandom has so many helpful people.
12. Any fic recs?
First of all… have y’all read Raw and Rosy by tuesdaymidnight? It’s not only incredibly hot Edward/Jasper slash, it’s also a spank!fic. I can’t help it, I’m drooling all over that one.
My second rec will have to be Million Dollar Baby by clpsuperstar. Once again a very hot fic, but this one is Bella/Edward. Edward buys Bella to be his sex-slave/companion/stand-in girlfriend for five years, and yeah… Lot’s of yumminess.
The third one is a fic that is only six chapters in, but I fell in love with it from chapter one. Pressed for Time by chele681 and Twanza is beautifully written. It has a depressed and angry Edward and a mute peep-show Bella, and it’s awesome.
13. Anything else you want to add?
Well, when I look at the fics I recommended I seem like quite the pervert. Peep-shows, sex-slaves and gay spankings. Ah well, I guess I am…
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